For When You Become a Father

There's a way you look at my where I see all the trouble you're going to get into for the entirety of your life. You know that I can see it, but you don't try to hide it. While I want your sister to grow and have a fabulous life, I want you to stay small forever. I always want you to be my little innocent boy and not get into that trouble I can sometimes see on your face.

There are times when you act just like me, and not always in ways that make me proud. Sometimes it makes me feel small and petty when you act like me and I yell at you about it. You learn from watching me. If I don't behave and act nicely, how can I expect you to know any different?

I often hope that you don't go through the troubles that I went through growing up, that somehow you're able to escape puberty and emerge into adulthood without facing any hardship. I don't want you to be picked on like I was; I don't want you to hate yourself like I did. I hope I can help, I hope you always know that I love you and think the world of you.

It's not fair, my expectations for you. I want you to behave, I want you to have fun, I want you to grow up, and I want you to stay little forever

So instead, we need to focus on what I can do for you. I need to be patient with you, let you be your own person and not expect you to do things you can't. I can't expect you to be your sister.

I need to let you have fun but at the same time be strict with you. You can't just do whatever you want.

I know I can't protect you forever. I know that you need to live your own life. I know that I need to teach you what I can about making good decisions and being a good person.

And whenever you need me, I'll be there for you.

One of My Favorite Posts I Ever Wrote

Originally posted July 7, 2008.

Sometimes you need to stop and pause and think about what's truly important. Sometimes, you need to remember that when someone really wants to watch Dora and you need to get her in the car to get to daycare, it isn't worth yelling at her. Sometimes you need to laugh and giggle out of a situation rather than get angry.

Some day she will walk out that door and come back only when she has time. Make sure that she wants to come back. Make sure that she knows you love her and that you'd do anything for her.

Not that you can let her stay and watch Dora. You don't have time, and she needs to learn that sometimes it's not about her.

You need to remember, no matter how frustrating, how irritating, how angering she can be, it isn't done out of malice (that comes later). You don't need to teach her that it's ok for someone to yell at her.


No matter how much you dislike hearing, "I just peed in my pants," know that the days of hearing that are numbered. And even though hearing, "I need to go pee pee," every 30 seconds (whether she needs to go or not, and you can't afford to decide, 'this time she doesn't need to') is nearly as frustrating, that, too will pass.

Be patient.

She looks up to you; she takes you as her earliest marker of what a man should be and how he should act. Don't create a bad precedent, don't be a bad example.

This is a lot of pressure. But that's exactly what you signed on for when you decided to have her. She's a lot of responsibility. A lot of work.

She's worth it. Every bit.